Ever want to scream when someone tries to point out the joys of marriage or offer solutions to your perceived, very problematic lack of a husband? Ever feel like pulling out your hair when people can barely hide the smirk on their faces when you tell them matter-of-factly that you do not need a husband? How do you rise above the marriage pressure?
My friend Cynthia is anti-marriage! She’s a regular Igbo girl so you can imagine her family’s consternation. Her mother has talked and talked, her relatives have tried matchmaking but my friend won’t even give them the time of day. She’s an ambitious woman with her own company and at 31, she couldn’t be bothered. She isn’t heart-broken or a lesbian, she just doesn’t think marriage is something she should worry her head about. She says if she’s destined to be married then some guy would have to work hard at impressing her and till then case-closed! The problem is her friends don’t believe her, her family doesn’t believe her, her work colleagues don’t believe her, heck no one does. They believe it’s a cleverly constructed facade and that deep down she is terrified but really just what if she isn’t? Can you actually blame her for taking a stand?
The average guy has commitment phobia or is out to fool around till he is all spent before he settles down or is waiting to make his first ‘five million’ before saying ‘I do’. Even a man with no future ambition or class, much less finances still knows he could have his pick of the best women he can find, once he announces he is looking to settle! The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor. Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man so how does the modern woman stay afloat?
1) Surround yourself with positive people, those who share or at least respect your views.
2) Avoid people, places and situations where your life choices will be put on display and discussed negatively.
3) Find your happy place away from the pressure and visit there often
4) Focus on those things you feel are important and do them with gusto.
5) Break boundaries. Don’t let society clip your wings, be true to yourself!
And when the time is right, the right man will show up and he will not only compliment your already great life but will propose without you losing sleep over it and if for some reason he doesn’t show up, then you will just keep on rocking life the best way you know how to because there are far worse things in life than being single.
Table for one please!
Culled from COSMOPOLITAN
There are far worse things in life than being single. By Anita Benson